I would love to show you how to write crazy short love poems or any other combination of crazy love words. Why crazy? Well, I define crazy as anything out of the ordinary, anything out of the normal patterns of your life. For example, crazy for me would be drinking a can of Pepsi. Crazy for other people might be becoming a Republican when they’ve been Democrat their whole lives. And crazy for most people would be writing a short love poem.
[To the student: You have an effective introduction. It’s got personality and a well defined thesis. –Miss McCulla]
That’s why I say that writing short love poems can have a powerful effect on your partner, precisely because it is something that is out of the ordinary for you. Maybe just writing any poem for you would be over-the-top. But if writing a poem isn’t nutty enough or too out of the ordinary for you, then it’s time to step it up a notch.
[I’m not sure how this paragraph advances the essay. You have already established the idea that writing a love poem would be crazy and that partners love that sort of thing. We are waiting for you to tell us HOW to write one. –Miss McCulla]
What is something you would never do? What is something your partner knows you would never do? Sure, writing a love poem might require you to do something in your life that’s a bit outside the norm for you.
[This point has has been clearly established. Repetition is not emphasis. –Miss McCulla]
One of the craziest things I did when I was dating my wife before we got married was to move all of her stuff when she was changing houses without her knowing by surprise
[These mean the same thing].
That was crazy. And to this day, my wife says it’s the most romantic thing I ever did for her .
[Personal examples work only if they support your thesis. No word about short love poems!]
One of the best things you could do is to do something out of the norm for you [Stop repeating!] and then to write a short love poem or romantic message about it.
[You’ve introduced a new element here. Now the poem is an add-on?]
She’ll think you’re zanny once with what you’ve done and then beyond zanny with the love poem she’ll get. It’s a double whammy. And in this case, that’s really good.
You’ll know what’s right for you. You’ll know what’s crazy in your own estimation. Hint: do something that would mean a whole lot to her, but something she would never expect or think you wouldn’t want to do for her. That usually shows her how much you care. Not just by your words, but by your actions. And that means a lot to anyone on the receiving end.
[This would be a good conclusion if it had anything to do with the thesis!] Good luck in crafting your crazy short love poem.
[Huh? Don’t stray from your thesis: I would love to show you how to write crazy short love poem. You didn’t do that.]
Miss McCulla is a retired English teacher of 32 years. She has Mastery of the grammar and mechanics of English, and has taught expository, fiction writing, and rhetorical skills to hundreds of students and aspiring writers throughout her career. She has written/edited/self-published five books, and currently manages and edits a writing blog called The Underground Tutor where she gathers essays, articles, entries, papers, manuals, profiles, criticisms, analyses of literature, just like those asked of students and writers in the university and publishers.
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